All posts by Beauty from the Ashes

About Beauty from the Ashes

"Sharing the things God gives me to write"

“He Held Me”

In the moments that we are faced with the hard reality of pain, we often try to find comfort despite the pain and reality.

The way we must walk is lined with many rocks, as in an Obstacle course, not to mention there is much destruction from the enemy and his evil doings.

Traipsing around it won’t help, pretending it’s not there doesn’t make it go away. The spirit groans, the heart aches, and the flesh rebels. It’s face to face, head on battle with one of the darkest moments of life.

The Father speaks, “I will not forsake you” and clinging to that promise she dares to take His hand and move ahead, toward the place, where many years ago she had innocently walked, until one day, destruction destroyed what was very valuable and precious, leaving it like forsaken remnants on a pile.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭

Step by step they walk, her strength has vanished and she clings to the Loving Father beside her, knowing that if she lets go, it’s over for this time and she will not be able to endure.

The trek is like one of a tunnel without end and they walk very slowly, because the Loving Father beside her understands the pain is heart wrenching, but eventually they arrive, climbing the steps, entering “that Place”

She whimpers as she haltingly allows herself to go, to feel the awfulness of those moments from that gut wrenching time. It hurts so bad to have your innocence stolen, she sobs heartbrokenly, but Healing flows forth because Jehovah Rapha, the Lord her Healer, holds her so close as she clings tightly to Him, still whimpering.

She forces herself to lift her head, opening her tears eyes, turning for just a brief glance at “that place”. She’s grappling to get closure on the awfulness of what happened there.

Then burying her face into the shoulder/chest of Jehovah Rapha’s, He cradles her ever so close, her being weak and exhausted of All strength from the battle. A major battle it was, but it was Victorious because the Father was a part of it.

They exit by the same path they had entered, she forces herself to open her eyes, despite the tears, noticing the path, that once led to a place of destruction was now fully illuminated with light.

She knew the words, “I will not forsake you” were spoken by no one other then the very Father himself, Jehovah Rapha has healed.

“The Story”

A well known story in the Bible, the woman with the issue of blood, and what an interesting name for a lady that was very much like us, she had issues. There was something very unique about her though, her issue was very noticeable, the blood. She was literally know as the women with the issue of blood and because of it, she was considered unclean. When she came in a crowd, people scattered, they did not want to be associated with an unclean person, let alone touch them.

“And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse.” ~Mark‬ ‭5:25-26‬ ‭

I, was the woman with the issue, a heart issue, a heart that was still bleeding, a spirit that was wounded. No matter how put together I tried to pretend, inside my heart was still bleeding, my wounded spirit raw, hence the blood flowing heavily just as from a fresh wound.

My heart, no matter how wounded, torn or bleeding, it still wants to trust, it still wants to be cared for, it still wants to know that it can be healed and made whole, despite things, many things/relationships having been fractured for many years.

In all honesty, I just wanted things to be normal in my life, just like the woman with the issue of blood did, she didn’t want to be known by her issue, she just wanted healing and she went to desperate measures to get it. I, too, get desperate in my own carnal way and try to find healing/fulfillment, because I just want to not have to hurt.

It’s when The Father begins to speak, and especially speaks about your heart and the condition of it, and what He wants to do in bringing healing.

But are we willing?

When we are wounded our heart hurts constantly, the pain is overwhelming, we just want the pain to leave. Then we can help but be overwhelmed by the Love of our Father and how He speaks so gently and lovingly.

“My child, your heart has been wounded, it’s been crushed, it’s been hurt, and you have searched for much fulfillment and acceptance, from people and things, all to ease the hurt within , but I, the Father, who created you and loves you, “I am simply asking you to trust me with your heart!”

The wound hurts, the blood will flow, yet as Abba Father scoops out the infection/pain in the wound in His ever Loving and Tender way, things begin to shift, now the fragments can be knitted together and begin to heal, as Abba Father now applies His tender love as a soothing salve.

The question still is, ” Are we willing to allow Him, the Ultimate Healer to heal the wound?”

Pain is inevitable in life, it really is.

We all have issues, some we can hide better then others, but it is time we stop hiding behind our excuses and walk forward boldly like the warriors God created and called us to be!

God is and Always will be available to bring healing if we just allow Him to.

{Reflection}

{Reflection}. *to think quietly and calmly. *to express a thought or opinion resulting from reflection

A rainy, cold December evening it was and in that upstairs bedroom, flung upon the bed was a young lady, weeping from what felt like endless heartache.

~Would she ever be loved?

~Would someone ever care?

~Was life even really worth living?

These thoughts and many more ran endlessly through her mind, as she lay there, trying to comprehend what had just taken place that evening. Yet another verbal attack, it always felt like there surely could be none worse then the last, yet tonight’s episode had proven to be the worst one yet.

The holidays just seemed to be a stark reminder that not all was well, that those closest about her seemed to all be at odds with each other. Weren’t the holidays to be a time of rejoicing, a time of gathering together and enjoying each other’s company? She would have gladly welcomed a break from the pain of the day’s events, but where would she find that?

Two years later, it was December once again and the young lady sat at her kitchen table feeling the same in her heart as was the outside atmosphere, cold and dark.

The holidays were here once again and the same feelings were there, followed with:

Emptiness

Coldness

Loneliness

Sadness

Would this cycle ever end?

What was with the holidays that made it seem like such a hard time?

Fast forward to 8 years later, the year is now 2020 and it’s once again December, the very last day to be exact.

Things are a bit different for the young lady, lots of change in the 8 years and as she reflects, over the past year, there is a very noticeable pattern, it’s a pattern of God’s Mercy, Faithfulness and Love, it’s woven through all 366 days of the past year. What a year it was, but what Faithfulness from God also.

Now she reflects back over the past 10 years and she also sees a pattern, God’s Mercy, Faithfulness, and Love is intricately woven through every day of her life. There’s been much healing, the road has not been easy at all, but the Grace and Strength of God has been a very real art of it all. The holidays are still a bit difficult but every year is another step of healing and obedience.

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭7:9‬ ‭

So however the past year was for you, and let’s be honest, 2020 was a year to remember. I challenge you to take a few minutes and reflect over the past 366 days, don’t focus on all negative, instead focus on where God was faithful in the hard, the impossible, I promise you will find it.

“The Time is Now”

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Do you ever find yourself waiting for the perfect time?

The perfect time to encourage someone.

The perfect time to pray with someone.

The perfect time to tell someone about Jesus.

The perfect time to hear from God?

The truth is there is no perfect time, but there is the present time.

Like the time I was slicing bread and God gave me the words for this post. Inspiration can be given at anytime and not always what seems to be the most convenient of times either.

I have heard from others that God has spoken to them in the shower, I mean one can’t really have a pen and paper in the shower to write but you get the point. God speaks anywhere at anytime. Are we listening or is it too inconvenient for our schedule?

Do you have time for a story?

Yes?

Great!

A little over two years ago, I was walking to the mailbox to get the mail and God spoke. It was a word I will never ever forget, it was so clear, as if you and I were having this conversation in person.

So about the word from the Lord, let me give you a bit of back story first.

There was a widower in my community and some dear people had been hinting that I would be a good match for him, and apparently a lot of people,thought that would be a great idea, basically everyone but myself. I wanted nothing to do with the idea, absolutely nothing. I mean, nothing personal I just didn’t care to have anything to do with guys at that season in my life, but God was about to change that too.

So I am walking to the mailbox to check the mail and this is what God said, “My daughter, there is a part of your heart that you have given me, but there’s also a part that you have not given me and that is the part that would be allowing a man to care for you”

That was the Word, it wasn’t one I wanted to hear but there It was. Not a fancy moment, and for sure not perfect timing in my opinion but it was a word from the Lord.

The point is, God will speak, but are we willing to listen? It’s not about you walking to your mailbox now to see if God will speak to you, it’s about you being obedient and walking forward in the season you are in, no matter how unpleasant or perfect it seems.

Listen.

Obey.

Walk.

The God of the Universe does want to commune with you, are you willing to listen and receive?

“Truth over Feelings”



Overwhelmed.
Panicky.
Anxious.
Those were just a few of the feelings that flooded me constantly in the new season I was entering into.

What was I to do?
How do I step into this role?
Could I really be a mother and a wife?
And did God really know what He was calling me to?

We all have days and seasons where we face questions similar to those above.
We really do.

It does not matter how perfect our little squares on social media look, we all have those days and seasons we don’t necessarily care to repeat.

Some days we get up and feel like we can conquer any and every thing that comes at us. We hear from God, we feel close, we feel heard, and we believe that God is ALL He says He is.

We also all have the days where it would be easier to stay in bed hidden under the cozy covers, then to face the overwhelming amount of hardness coming at us. It’s real brothers and sisters.

We try to pray, yet it feels like our prayers are just evaporating into space with no one to hear them, but ourselves, as we uttered them. We try to read the Bible but it feels dry as dust and we don’t feel encouraged.

My friend, you won’t always “feel” like doing the hard things, even though that usually is the right thing to do. But here’s where it gets really good though. Even if you don’t feel like it, do it anyway. In the dryness, perhaps God will speak, even if you don’t expect Him to.

It’s the constant being, that matters! Being a daughter, a son of the King. It’s a high calling. It won’t always “feel” like we think it should, but God, always, Always, ALWAYS.
Sees us.
Hears us.
Cares for us.
Loves us.

Those are absolutes.
Feelings are real but they are not the truth.
God’s word is Truth!

“To Be Loved”

To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.
But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.
It is what we need more then anything.
It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.
-Keller

In my teenage years, someone asked me what my greatest fear was in life, to which I answered in a trembling voice, “I fear that I am unlovable, therefore I fear no one loves me”

At that point in my life I was so desperate to be loved, yet because of the deep wounds in my heart and life, I was unknowingly pushing anyone away that tried to love on me. It was my security, to make sure people were safe before I allowed them to get too close or I allowed myself to let them see a glimpse of who I really was.

I didn’t spend my childhood in a culture that was centered on love, instead any thing regarding the subject of love was scorned, the very word love was constantly mocked. In fact it was regarded as a sign of being weak, the need to be loved, something that only the holier than thou people did.

I didn’t know that the daily yearning for love that I felt in my heart, was simply something that is a part of every human being. I thought there must be something wrong with me, because everyone else didn’t seem to struggle like I did. I just wanted to hear from those close to me, that I was loved.

My continuous search and need for love seemed to always be getting in my way, it always seemed to step in at the wrong time, but now actually I see now where God was intervening and protecting me. He such a good good Father like that❤️

The God size ache in my heart seemed to grow on the daily. It drove me to some crazy extremes, and I was running myself ragged in my constant pursuit of just wanting to be loved.

The Lord doesn’t leave his children as orphans, No He does Not! He works in His wondrous ways, often through His children, allowing them to be His hands and feet to the hurting, the lost, and the ones who just need to be loved.

I will never forget the day, or the days when I began to get a glimpse of God’s love for me, and that all this time my small feeble version of what love should look like wasn’t love at all. The Lord wrecked my feeble view of what I thought love looks like and overwhelmed me with His gracious Love. Experiencing it is absolutely amazing, and He is so kind and gracious.

To sum up all of the above, if someone you know is in need of love. Just know that God may be asking you to be His hands and feet and to show love to them. Don’t be offended if they push you away the first 20 times, just remember Love never fails even after the umpteenth or the hundredth time.

“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:13‬ ‭

{When the Basket is Full}

Laundry is common thing to every housewife and/or mama. Some days it may feel like a mundane task, because the laundry basket never seems to stay empty for very long at all. I mean, it just feels rather overwhelming at times.

But here’s the thing.

I love doing laundry.

I always have and probably always will.

What a joy to put smelly clothes into the washer and just an hour or so later, you have clean, fresh smelling laundry.

Ahh! So satisfying.

But here’s the kicker.

I don’t like folding laundry and putting it away.

I don’t like it sitting in the laundry basket either.

I enjoy the satisfying feeling of once it’s all done, as in folded and put away.

But folding and putting away, uhm meh😳🥴My general plan consists of just getting the laundry folded and put away as soon as it drys, that way it’s done and I can move on to other things. You know, fun things that I actually enjoy.

But God took me to a place far past the laundry basket being empty, far past being caught up with laundry, I mean it’s not like it’s a status thing to be caught up on laundry, yes it’s nice but there’s more important things.

Here’s where God took me and it challenged me. Would I rather have an overflowing laundry basket and my children’s hearts taken care of or an empty laundry basket and a child/children that feel unheard and misunderstood?

Oh Lord, give us grace, wisdom, courage and strength to keep our eyes focused on what’s important. You as a mama, are teaching and nurturing your children for all of life! And God’s Mercies are new every Morning!❤️

Maybe it’s the not the laundry basket for you, maybe it’s something else, but whatever it may be, just know it’s okay to not always have it perfect. You are human! God is the giver of much wisdom and grace! Ask Him and He will give it to you❤️

“Boulder on the Journey”

So imagine with me, that you are walking along a rugged mountain path that winds ever upward and there’s rocky rough terrain you encounter as you trudge along. Suddenly you’re startled by a noise and as you glance around to see where the noise is coming from, in your peripheral vision you catch a glimpse of a giant boulder rolling down the mountain and headed straight for you. There’s absolutely nothing you can do, no where you can go, basically you’re helpless as you watch the giant boulder rapidly heading your way directly.

Bam! It hits you. Knocks you down, flat on your back and rolls on top of you, knocking you unconscious. After some time you regain consciousness and try to gather your bearings of what just happened, basically you come to the conclusion that you’re helpless, there’s nothing you can do until someone comes to your aid.

What is your “Boulder on the Journey”? I ask this because we all have one. Maybe it’s:

Death of a loved one

Pain/Heartbreak

Financial issues

Broken Dreams

Confrontation

Difficult Relationships

Loneliness

The list could go on and on, but we are getting our minds spinning in the direction of what could be our “boulder on the journey”. We all have that thing, that conversation, that relationship and etc. that we dread, it weighs heavily on our minds and hearts constantly, it affects many parts of our very being.

It is reality that stares us straight in the face, we can’t run from it, no matter where we go, it’s right there, glaringly real. We grope, hesitating as we place yet one more foot forward as an act of faith. We don’t understand, we don’t have answers, yet what is before us, requires us, maybe even forces us in sheer desperation to move onward.

Pain, loss of a loved one, broken dreams, financial issues, difficult relationships and etc. they are all a real part of life. It’s hard to process through, and if we are not aware of the “Boulder” we tend to stay under it helpless for many many days, months and even years.

Brothers. Sisters. I know the pain is real, I know it’s so hard. It’s starting to feel like no one understands or even cares. But!

There’s Hope! There’s a cross that held our beloved Jesus, so many years ago. Blood splattered and stricken was He, not an easy scene to think about, but He was wounded for our transgressions and by His wounds we are healed. This is not the end for you! In fact, it’s just the beginning of a new season, a new level of healing.

It may feel like no one cares, but your Heavenly Father cares. He loves you! He wants to heal you from the scars of the boulder, will you allow Him to?

{Motherhood}

“My Brother”

At 2:40 the morning after my brother had gone to be with Jesus, the Lord woke me and gave me these words❤️ It’s fair to say I wept as I wrote, but it was such an honor to have the Lord speak to me with the words below to share with those left behind. We weep not as those without hope, but rejoice that He knew the Lord and He is safely Home with Him now❤️

My brother, I know you would tell us

Rejoice my dear loved ones left behind

I am experiencing heaven and Jesus

His love and wonderful peace sublime.

In this world we all faced hardships

Troublesome times filled with turmoil

But rejoice my loved ones, for I am

Truly standing with Jesus on heavenly soil.

My Jesus, who died and saved my soul

I am now resting in His sweet embrace,

Theres’s so much peace and joy

In my new home in this heavenly place.

My wife, I love you, and I know it’s so hard

I am sorry, I know it was such a hard blow

But weep not as one without any hope

Because straight to Jesus I did go.

My dear children, daddy loves you so much

I am sorry I had to leave you and mama behind

I know one day we will be reunited

O Take heart, Jesus is strong and kind.

To all my family and loved ones I left behind

Give your hearts to the Father up above

Live your lives wholly surrendered to Him

He, truly is a Father of compassionate love.

Allow the Father to redeem and restore

What’s broken and hurting within

Give Him every part of you, that’s broken

He truly will cleanse you from every sin.

So weep, not as ones with out Hope

For I am safely at rest in Jesus’ embrace

My loved ones, rejoice and be glad, for

Someday we shall meet in this heavenly place.

Safely Home with Jesus. 02.27.2020